Due to some sort of insane or perhaps stupid corporate action, Squirt is now on the endangered species list. Rumor states that it no longer exists on the East Coast! Nor in Europe! We (web masters at the Squirt Page) Still can't find any other pages relating to squirt (except a bunch of XXX sites, but we won't go there ...). The Corporate page doesn't even exist!
Below is an e-mail we received on Monday June 8th 1998. It was something that we felt should be shown to all of those who have the luxury of having a 7-11 down the street which always has a fresh supply of ice cold Squirt ready to enjoy.
THIS IS NOT B.S.! WE DID NOT MAKE THIS UP!
I have a story to tell about Squirt and the hell I live in. I am from Lynchburg, Virginia, and much to my dismay, no stores anywhere near me sell Squirt. So you can see why I am living in constant torment. Sometimes when my father visits me from Kansas he'll bring a case. I'm like a junkie with the stuff. I only break out the Squirt on special occasions, like when I'm trying to impress someone or I have a bad hangover. Do you know what its like to only have one can of Squirt left? The horror of knowing that after this one can, you will be without until Dad comes back... It is an indescribable emotion that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Maybe I am taking this a little too hard. I mean, it is after all, only a drink. But it is a great drink. An elixir to cure depression and boredom. The only tested and proven cure for a hangover. I am glad to see that you appreciate this beverage-of-the-gods. I only wish this aching sense of envy did not cloud my brain.
So that is my story. Oh, how my deepest core longs to drink from that yellow can. But, alas, I am alone in this world of refreshment.
Susan M. Credit
If you wish to donate a case of Squirt to the "Squirt for Susan Credit" Foundation, e-mail her here.
Here's another e-mail from a parched fan of Ruby RedSquirt.
Again, We Didn't make this up!
I, being from Grand Rapids, MI (just minutes from the Brooks Beverage Company, esteemed bottler of Squirt, and my personal favorite, Ruby Red Squirt), have just moved to Dallas, TX to find that (although regular and diet regular are here) ruby red is not. What to do? Do you have a thought on how I can get some?
Daniel Linsley, Thomas Hunt, Mack Martin
Last updated on June 11 1998